Defne YucesoyI blow out the candles at 12AM , 03.10.2026
For a moment the room goes quiet, the flames from the candles turn into a thin string of smoke floating in the air. My family claps and that moments ends as quickly as it arrived.
Just like that I am eighteen.
It’s bizarre how a day that someone talks about for years feel so quiet when it arrives. There is still no sudden shift or some kind of adulthood that set in. The same thoughts are still there and the same questions still sit in my mind unanswered.
But something does feel different.
Turning eighteen felt like I was crossing the finish line. Now since I crossed that line I feel like I’m standing in the beginning of a long road that you can’t even see the end of. For years my life has been full of schedules, expectations and the comforting thought that adulthood was still far far away and I still had time to figure things out.
Turning 18 should mean independence, big responsibility and important decisions that begin to shape your life. It is implemented to us that it happens overnight, but the truth is growing up is a process.
Growing up happens slowly.
It happens through late night conversations, making decisions by yourself, the realization that the future is no longer an hypothetical idea but it is something that you are actively putting together.
Maybe that is why today feels so strange. I have the same worries I’ve had yesterday. In fact I am still the same person I was yesterday , but the world starts treating you differently. You’re expected to know more, choose more carefully, always have the right idea and think further ahead.
Perhaps adulthood isn’t always having answers.
It could be learning to learn and live with questions.
As I blew out the candles, the realization came to me that life will never become certain. Turning eighteen means learning to live with reality. And that could be even more exciting!
If the past years have taught me anything , it’s that the most purposeful things begin silently.
Sometimes they start with a thought, sometimes with a decision.
And sometimes they start the moment the candles go out.
I want to spend my first year in adulthood with all my loved ones. My family, friends , my dog Joyce 🙂 I want this year to teach me something. I want to learn how to live with reality and understand that it is okay to have some complications in life.
Because maybe life isn’t about avoiding them.
Maybe it’s learning to live with them.
So now as I blow out my candles, I make the quiet promise to myself which is to move forward even when things feel uncertain. I promise to myself that I will trust the long road after crossing the finish line, and the road will eventually reveal itself.
